Coach Sandi Nypaver gives you a few of the different ways to approach setting goals.
As we head into the fall season of running, these could be some great tips for you to consider. Coach Sandi will also discuss a few ways she helps avoid the comparison trap.
Let’s dive in.
I was once approached by an athlete that was willing to open up about their low self-esteem, stating that they often struggle with setting personal goals and end up comparing their achievements to others in search of validation. “If sights are set too low, I might belittle my wins, but if they’re set too high, I convince myself that I can never reach them. Is it straightforward to know that a great outcome equates to winning a race?”
There’s a lot to unpack here, so I’ll start with each part of this question.
How I Set Goals Depending on the Race:
My goals change depending on the race. There are races where I may be targeting a certain time or certain pacing strategy. There are also races like Hard Rock, UTMB, or Western States, that I have been dreaming about, the training had gone well, and I had poured my heart and soul into everything. For those races, I might have a goal just to finish! For everyone I coach, including myself, we usually set A, B, and C goals.
Sometimes there’s an A-plus goal, which is really challenging but still achievable. Then there’s the B goal, the C goal, and finally, the ‘if everything goes wrong’ goal. This last one is about maintaining a positive mental attitude no matter the outcome. Staying positive when everything goes wrong is a great challenge in itself; that’s a goal I always set for all my athletes going into every race.
How To Work on Self-Esteem
But I really want to address other parts of this question, especially regarding self-esteem. If you’re a runner that struggles with low self-esteem, why not make it a goal right now to work on improving your self-esteem, even before prioritizing race goals?
I know it’s easy to think that your self-esteem can’t change, but it can. You need to start by finding a better way to talk to yourself. I often take a step back and ask myself, ‘If I were talking to a loved one in my situation, how would I talk to them?’
That could be a good starting point for you. Consider how you can develop a more positive mindset about yourself. And why are you comparing yourself to others in the first place? Just by signing up for a race, you’re already doing so much more than if you were just sitting on the couch watching TV and not signing up at all.
Running & Comparison
I know running is a sport where it’s easy to compare yourself to others, but there’s beauty in using others to help you reach your goals and in wanting to see success for others without necessarily comparing yourself. Even though comparison will inevitably slip in, when it does, take a step back and remind yourself that you don’t need to compare yourself to that person.
Instead, compare yourself to the version of you who made less healthy decisions, who didn’t sign up for the race, or who didn’t make it to the start line. You don’t need a race to validate yourself. Running isn’t meant to validate you. Simply showing up is something you can use to validate yourself.
Final Thoughts:
If you don’t meet your goals, at least you tried. That’s so much better than not trying at all, right? You’re going to surprise yourself. It might not happen when you want or how you expect, but if you set big goals for yourself and work toward them, you’ll get so much farther than if you didn’t set those goals at all. Even if things don’t work out, you’ve improved, and you know you tried, which is so much better than not trying and selling yourself short.
This mindset applies to all aspects of your life! Do the mental training, talk yourself through it, and find better thoughts. You can do this. I know it’s hard, but I promise you it’s worth your time!
Happy running, and have a great week.
Coach Sandi